Have you ever wondered or asked yourself one simple question, “Who am I?”
You might scoff and say, “Why would I ask myself such a question?” But then, think and ask yourself, “Who really am I?”, “What am I?” “When am I really being myself and when am I not?” “How do I want to be known?” “What is my identity?”
At a point in my life, I asked myself that question. Being such an indecisive girl, I couldn’t find a straight simple answer. I was torn between being a strong devoted Muslim lady or a crazy socialite as the new modern world expects a young educated lady as me to be. My parents gave me the total freedom to choose my path. With a very religious Elder sister, a very social and liberal Elder brother and a younger sister who, (though she never openly accepts it) looks up to me, I was literarily at crossroads. While living the life, I experienced the good, the bad and the ugly of everything; relationships, feelings and emotions, people’s character, struggle for survival, honesty, faith, devotion, freedom and socialization. At a point, I experienced total independence. I could do all I wanted to do. But having a strong Islamic conscience and a crazy social spirit waiting to emerge, I was at conflict with myself. At that moment, I asked myself, “Who am I?” Only after these experiences, did I figure it out. How I want to be known. The person I want everybody, including me, to see. The lady that can stand up tall and defend no matter where, when and who.
I am a Muslim lady with Allah as her Lord and I please no one but Him. I put on my hijab because my Lord orders me to, and because I want to be known as one who observes it. I’m not naïve, oppressed, unappreciated or unintelligent. On the contrary, I am respected, regarded, and treated like a queen. I am an independent lady who has found a balance between the social and religious life. I do unto others what I want done to me, I try to understand people and why they act the way they do so that I can live in peace with them and with myself. I exist to serve Allah and be happy, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
So that’s it, I know my identity……………
I am a Muslilah………………..