Why do we waste our time with fear, when it is that same fear that will lead to the unfortunate event we fear?
Do'you get it??
Fear is good, in a religious manner. You have to fear our Lord, be fearful. And true, some say it's alright to be afraid but in my opinion, It's not alright being in fear!
I recently had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine, and I was prompted to ask her worst fear. Guess what she said;- Being lonely! Like seriously? How can that be her worst fear? When technology has made it easier to avoid loneliness. I had to ask what planet she was in...
Really, I get her and I understand why she's scared of being lonely. A lovely young lady, yet to be married and without a serious relationship? Hell, I don't blame her for thinking what the future holds for her... The chic imagines heartbreak every time a guy comes near. Who would blame her? She thinks she's built strong walls around her heart but in contrary, she's been leaving her heart open to heartbreaks.
Someone told me recently that; the more you're scared of something, the more you think of it. And the more you think of it, the higher the probability of it actually happening!!!!
Get it now??!!
Some people just have the fear of loving when they should be busy loving.. And there are still some that have the fear of dying. Life is sweet and short, it shouldn't be spent in fear. I've had my share of fears, and it didn't help me one bit. Because in the end, I keep doing what I fear unconsciously!
I used to hold on to a fear of having a love less marriage in future (and maybe a tiny lil part of me still does), of being a useless wife, of being unworthy... See, from a very young age I had told myself over and over again that I was useless and I've never believed myself worthy of anything I got. Hence, the origin of my fear. I used to pray then that when I grew up, things should have changed and women wouldn't have to get married (Boy, was I just wishing 4 stars!).
So every time a guy approached me, I already imagine the worst he could be before I even consider him.
And then along came a guy that changed my view. He said I'm just hurting myself without realising it. And that because I already think it, I would make it happen. For example, me thinking my hubby and I would fight everyday will only make us do so. And even if d hubby didn't want 2 fight, I would instigate it with something!
I actually reasoned with this guy's logic. It made so much sense!
Some of us actually think that seeing bad in everything prepares one for the worst. I say; Maybe it does, maybe it's easier to cope that way, but what if the worst never comes? Have we ever thought about it in that way?
What if you get the perfect partner, and you're thinking he's too good to be true or he might be hiding something... And you instigate a big fight causing you to loose him? Think about it....
What if the worst just never comes? And you're already prepared for the battle that will never arrive!
What will you do? You eventually create your own battle!!!
We on the same page now?
Don't end up instigating your own heart break because of a base less fear!
It's difficult, YES! but we all just try...
Everyone faces one challenge or the other, and we all have our cross to bear! Only difference is, some of us are willing to take a risk!
Take a risk on your heart.. Put it out there! If he doesn't respect you for taking a risk on him, there are plenty more you can take a risk on..
I took a risk on my heart once, it didn't end well. But that didn't stop me from rising and willing to try again!
That's what taking a risk is! I can only hope it will end well... And if it doesn't? I'll just get up and try my luck again elsewhere!
That's a strength every woman must possess!!!
I am willing to let go of my fear! I'm taking a chance with destiny, and requesting for what I want! It can never be as bad as you imagine! At least, you get to have fun while taking the risk!!
And I believe that heart break is for weak ladies: If you're strong, you won't be heart broken! Neither will you dwell on it... You'll take it as a lesson well learned, and be a better woman. That is what a woman's strength is!
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
I was about posting a different blog, when i heard the terrible news..
I heard you were gone, forever and it didn't even dawn on me what they meant.
I'm still beyond shocked, and i don't know why i'm writing this now nor do i know what i'm supposed to write. I just feel so so awful right now.
I had only met the woman once, a few weeks ago but she was awesome. I should have met her sooner, but i kept postponing it. I finally met her like 3weeks ago, and now she's gone. I had just started knowing her, looking forward to seeing her again.....
That sunday, 3 weeks ago, i said goodbye but i promised to go see her again. Who would have thought it's her vacant body i would be seeing next?
Who would have dreamt that such a wonderful mother would leave left us so soon?
She left without seeing my sister get married to her son, without carrying my sister's kids in her arms, without being called "grandma" by my sister's children!... She left without actually meeting her inlaws!
She left without seeing all her children become great men & women, without becoming all she prayed day and night for them to become!...
Maybe if i could rewind time, i would have gone to see her sooner;
I would have become close to her;
I would have stayed longer on that sunday;
I would have said my byes;
I would have let her know how much my sister speaks of her;
I would have told her how much my sister loves her;
I would have let her know that my sister would cry if she got hurt;
I would have told her funny stories about my sister when she was growing;
I would have made her laugh, even if for a few minutes;
I would have gone back again to see her;
I would have assured her everything would be fine;
I would have...........
It's all just would haves.... I really can't turn back time.
I can only comfort my grieving sister and brother in law;
I can only hold the dear woman's memories (no matter how little i know) close to my heart, and let her live on...
I can only pray the good Lord forgives all her sins, and grant her entry into Paradise!