I wouldn't call it giving up, or any thing of sorts, seeing as I don't entertain such worthless emotions.
I would rather use the word- uninterested.
I had a chat with my mother only this afternoon and skilfully broached the subject of my well-hidden desire just to know if it'll be agreeable with her. And of course, I got the cynical look with the popular short and explanatory sentence- `God forbid`. Although I smiled, I couldn't let the subject go. I argued both points in my head and tried analysing what I'd said by thinking if truly God would forbid something that makes me happy or fulfilled. I was told (and I'm still being told) that you need to ask and it shall be given; seek and you shall find. I was told that desiring something wasn't just enough, I also had to ask God for it before he makes it more of a reality than fantasy. So, why then would God forbid a desire that is likely to make me live a better life, simply because it doesn't fall in someone else's category of `living life`.
Fear not, I have not asked too much nor am I making demands, but can't I be a respected lady without hitching another's identity to mine? Think about it ladies. All our lives, we are taught, nurtured, and prepared for that one thing- marriage. There is no assumption that one or two of the bunch may not develop interest in such `normalcy`, because it is naturally expected of us as we attain certain ages/positions to bring home a man (no matter if she might grow to hate him), get hitched, and start living under his identity or even in his shadow. Some of us are even given a deadline to tie the knot... If society dictates that I cannot have my own identity and be respected if I do not have a man attached, then of what point is the education I spent so many years gaining? Since I was taught to think and reason independently.
What is wrong in having no desire to get married? This question has been lingering in my mind longer than the idea of having a boyfriend has. Only I truly know myself and I know that marriage is no bed of roses, maybe that's the reason I've unconsciously dated guys that are not marry-able. I have always desired having a kid or two, but as a single parent. Society may judge me harshly or even shun me, but I can live with it, rather than have an unhappy existence. In fairness to the institution (marriage) though, it is supposedly a wonderful experience and some people are actually happier married. I just don't think it's for me.!
Don't confuse me for what I am not please, I am neither gay nor am I anti-men. On the contrary, I love men and would love to raise a great man one day, just not as a married woman. I've never been a rebel or a disobedient child but I find that when it comes to the topic of my marriage, I just ignore my parents. Hopefully in the next 4 years until I turn 30, they will understand my wish and I can give them a grandchild or two if I won't be too much of a societal disappointment.
A very opinionated lady
Monday, 6 April 2015
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
It’s a very confusing start to this post as I have a lot on my mind that I yearn to write down; too much if you ask me.
I almost forgot it was my birthday yesterday morning until I saw my sister’s birthday surprise (as usual) waiting for me in bed. I had too much on my mind, most particularly the presidential election results. Regardless of my birthday surprise however, I still spent the day before the television, with pen and paper, collating the election results. I barely responded to pings wishing me a happy birthday, and I honestly didn’t notice that half of my friends had forgotten my birthday. If you ask me today which friends actually remembered my day, I would go cheat by searching for my chat histories. In all, it turned out to be a magnificent day even through the emotional/physical stress I subjected myself to.
I’m alive; I’m beautiful; I’m healthy, I’m living by his grace; I have the most amazing sister, and family; I’ve got great friends; and I’m still hawt @ 26 years! Alhamdulillahi..
Change- that’s the word on every Nigerian’s lip for some months now, whether they support it or not. As you may have guessed, I am a firm supporter of the “change campaign”, and I not only advocated for General Buhari on social media, I also encouraged people to vote him as President. This is why I made the decision to actually go out and vote for my candidate, making it the first time I ever cast a vote as a Nigerian citizen. I was so excited weeks ahead the election, that not even an illness could bring down my morale. I called the election day; the judgment day, as it would decide our fate as Nigerians. Come 28th March, 2015- the judgment day, I initially disagreed with my mother over what I wore (mostly about the hat on my head though). She said I looked like a party agent, and although I knew she was just concerned for my safety, I thought it absurd that I couldn’t just wear what I wanted. When we eventually got to the polling unit, no INEC official was present and I picked my number . When it was 12:30pm, a good Samaritan had gone to pick up the officials assigned to my unit with his vehicle. Upon their arrival, they took their time setting up, and informed us that only one of the three card readers they brought was working. They had forgotten the pass codes of the remaining two. Regardless of the time, frustration, and anger going round then, people still insisted on going on with the accreditation and subsequently voting. I didn’t even get in line for accreditation until 17:30, and I was accredited within seconds around 18:00. Accreditation ended with 448 accredited persons, and voting finally commenced at 20:00. It was a slow process, but orderly. Residents of the estate supplied a generator, wire, and bulb to lighten up the voting area. The funny thing is that people were so determined to cast their votes, that they went home and brought chairs. We all sat around, and started gisting like it was the most natural thing to do. I finally cast my vote at 1:10am for my now-president-elect, the APC presidential candidate. We strolled back home, and I went to eat my second meal, at a time that should be considered the next day.
I was so proud of myself, that it felt like I was floating in a bubble all day, when I wasn’t sleeping that is. I was so scared, that my first vote wouldn’t count, that something fishy was being planned by the opposition party, that the change I had yearned for wouldn’t be realised.Most importantly though, I felt like I had done something very important by voting and nothing could erase that feeling from my mind. The result collation started on Monday afternoon, and I had been obsessing over the figures since. Eventually, I got the best birthday gift I could have gotten from Nigerians, and INEC when General Muhammad Buhari won the 2015 Presidential election, and I was even more happy when the incumbent President conceded to defeat and congratulated our President elect.
Nothing could stop me from feeling fly that I voted for the first time, and it not only counted, but dream for a change in the administration was realized on my birthday!