Saturday, 16 July 2011


Sometime ago, I came across this little piece in my journal and after reading through it, concluded that this is probably the genesis of my single state. Hell! what can I say? was having boy issues (don't we all?), and I just burst out! It's actually a very special piece as I expressed myself while the anger was burning at its peak!
So, what better blog is there to share with ya'll for the 1st time than my own thoughts, and how I expressed it?

All my life, I've always cared about other people (one way or the other), how they fare, their health, their families, their worries, their relationships, and heartbreaks! Funny thing is; I never actually got that degree of care in return. Yea, most pitied me (cause of my poor health) *eyes rolling* and some claimed to care but not nearly as much as I gave! Well, @least until last year when some guy told me I ought to be selfish cause its my LIFE!!!

So now that I'm being selfish, I'm just tired of putting others 1st... I'm tired of caring too much, and getting little back. And I'm tired of taking care of a guy like a baby; if I were ready to be a mother, I would have gotten pregnant already. It ain't that hard to do!
I also want to be treated like a baby, I don't have to be the grown up every time. I wanna be the baby for once, and have a MAN (as in, real man o) take care of me...
I'm just tired of guys, their whining and their childish attitudes!
I also wanna mean more to a guy; I wanna mean more than a wife, or a cook, or a trophy girlfriend who can't have friends! I wanna be respected in ways different from the ordinary, I wanna be treated like a queen. I wanna be pampered, be cared for, and be reassured that everything will be alright; that I am gonna be alright!

And even though I know i can't have it all, I still long for a man who's gonna be with me in my worst moments, not just because he has nowhere else to go or no one else will accept him, but because he would rather spend his time with me. I long for a man that won't mind wearing my shoes for me cause I'm tired, or getting in the kitchen cause I don't feel like cooking!
I long for the man who not only loves me, but thinks of me as his lover; and can't stay a day without hearing my voice.

I don't want a guy who sees me as a wife, because it's necessary to get married (thereby, fulfilling a family obligation). I don't want a guy that won't hear from me for a week and believe everything is alright (i.e without a bother).
I want more!
More than the guys have dated or rather, the babies have nurtured...
I need much more than what have been getting,
What I got in the past.
I want so much more in my life..
...cause I damned well deserve it!

Con amor

Friday, 8 July 2011


I initially thought the title of my blog seemed far-fetched and silly as I've got a good memory. In fact saying good is being modest, my memory is awesome and vivid (sometimes, too vivid for my own good). I remember almost everything that's happened to me since i was 5 yrs old (most of them, bad). But then, I'll love to decongest my mind a little and spill out some of those things in my head. Thus, my reason for creating a blog! My thoughts are specially comprised of; the good, the bad, and the other me that lives upstairs (i.e in my head)... Of course, our thoughts can define us to an extent, especially on who we are or who we wish to become. Well, I've got those parts: the one that just wanna be on the safe zone and predict doing the same things over and over for 10 yrs, and the other one who wants to be led wild and have lots of fun as each day passes by.

I've got a million stuff running through my head and i just wish i could pour it all out at once!

Yea, i know..... Who am i kidding right? A blog? Well, it'll help me express my feelings and i really do prefer them written rather than spoken. After all, dint they say "watch what u say, cos words cant b taken back?" Or at least something along those lines.. So here i am, ready to share my thoughts, experience, fantasies, and life stories with you all. I'm open to advices, suggestions, or insults (though i hope it won't come to that) at any time..

Con amor