Sometime ago, I came across this little piece in my journal and after reading through it, concluded that this is probably the genesis of my single state. Hell! what can I say? was having boy issues (don't we all?), and I just burst out! It's actually a very special piece as I expressed myself while the anger was burning at its peak!
So, what better blog is there to share with ya'll for the 1st time than my own thoughts, and how I expressed it?
All my life, I've always cared about other people (one way or the other), how they fare, their health, their families, their worries, their relationships, and heartbreaks! Funny thing is; I never actually got that degree of care in return. Yea, most pitied me (cause of my poor health) *eyes rolling* and some claimed to care but not nearly as much as I gave! Well, @least until last year when some guy told me I ought to be selfish cause its my LIFE!!!
So now that I'm being selfish, I'm just tired of putting others 1st... I'm tired of caring too much, and getting little back. And I'm tired of taking care of a guy like a baby; if I were ready to be a mother, I would have gotten pregnant already. It ain't that hard to do!
I also want to be treated like a baby, I don't have to be the grown up every time. I wanna be the baby for once, and have a MAN (as in, real man o) take care of me...
I'm just tired of guys, their whining and their childish attitudes!
I also wanna mean more to a guy; I wanna mean more than a wife, or a cook, or a trophy girlfriend who can't have friends! I wanna be respected in ways different from the ordinary, I wanna be treated like a queen. I wanna be pampered, be cared for, and be reassured that everything will be alright; that I am gonna be alright!
And even though I know i can't have it all, I still long for a man who's gonna be with me in my worst moments, not just because he has nowhere else to go or no one else will accept him, but because he would rather spend his time with me. I long for a man that won't mind wearing my shoes for me cause I'm tired, or getting in the kitchen cause I don't feel like cooking!
I long for the man who not only loves me, but thinks of me as his lover; and can't stay a day without hearing my voice.
I don't want a guy who sees me as a wife, because it's necessary to get married (thereby, fulfilling a family obligation). I don't want a guy that won't hear from me for a week and believe everything is alright (i.e without a bother).
I want more!
More than the guys have dated or rather, the babies have nurtured...
I need much more than what have been getting,
What I got in the past.
I want so much more in my life..
...cause I damned well deserve it!