Sunday, 15 January 2017

Self Abuse..

I have come to the conclusion that we as women are our own problems. We scream all over the place about the way men treat us. We talk about feeling used, we talk about being objectified, we even go to the lengths to talk on how our rights are being trampled on by men. Yet, it is the same women that will go to a man and submit to be used, the same women will dress indecently to be objectified, the same women will forget they have rights (I still can't decide on why) and give men all the liberties they shouldn't.

Awhile ago, it was all over facebook and instagram that a Lagos big boy was attending parties in the company of two masked ladies on a leash. They really did look like a couple of over pampered dressed up dogs going out for a walk with their master. Anyway I tried examining (more like attempting & failing to think from all perspectives) this situation from different angles before writing this post and my only conclusion is that the young man must have paid them heavily to play that role. Don't get me wrong, I know what he's going for here but I just can't believe it's the same thing those ladies are going for. I understand the rules of BDSM, I have studied it. I know he's trying new things to give himself pleasure, but couldn't he have gone to orgy parties for that? This man demeaned two ladies by putting them on a leash and taking them to regular Nigeria parties to show off as his toys. We are in Nigeria sir! Even if 50% of the population are fond of kinky sex in this country, they don't flaunt it. It's their dirty laundry and shouldn't be aired in public.
The masked women on the other hand, are the recipients of my anger. I need proof that they truly enjoyed such treatment. If he could insult their femininity in public thus, I wonder the kind of treatment he unleashed at them in the confines of his home- all the name of pleasure (or money). How much is good enough for you to let a man strip you of your dignity, self-worth, and self-love? How much did he pay to insult your existence?
Funny turn of events however, has this same Lagos big boy claiming his act is actually a movement for voiceless women. According to him, he needed to first get noticed by the nation before his words could be heard. And  what better way to make the world notice you if not to parade yourself as a dominant figure with his submissive dogs, I mean ladies, at parties?!

I don't care what he says, I think he has no respect for women. If he did, he never would have  put those ladies on a leash; and those ladies should never have been willing participants.
Let's be honest with ourselves: No-one is going to save women from an abuse they willingly got themselves into. We need to start thinking, and stop the old fashioned habit of disrespecting ourselves. When we as women begin to love ourselves, only then will we begin to appreciate our worth...

Do have a prosperous new year everyone,
Con amor.

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