Sunday 14 February 2016

Proclamation of Love to my Heart!

Dear Lukman,

A man once told me, “Iheoma if you’re going to love, then do it right. Find a love that never dies, that never looses its electricity. The kind of love that’s worth fighting for”.

These past years, I have not gotten much inspiration to love, but I kept those words at the back of my mind. I always told myself that everything in life was overrated, especially love. Eventually I stopped thinking about it, and I didn’t care much for emotion. I assumed my life was going on point, nothing was missing. I just wanted to be someone important and make my father proud.

And then along came a beautiful young stranger. His gaze was all it took to draw me in. When I first met him, something told me he was different and I just knew deep in my heart that we were meant to cross paths. I suddenly began to yearn for more. He started to grow on me. He made me laugh and took me on a beautiful ride. Just when things got serious and true, I put up a wall. I told myself I was doing it for my own good, that I was merely protecting my own heart. Yes I admit it, his love had begun to fill me up. I put up strong defences just to douse the flame. I was confused, here’s a guy that loves me to the moon and back. He makes my tummy bubble with excitement when calling and makes butterflies dance in me when I hear him laugh. Yet, I found an excuse to stay away.

Love so strong, so big it never fades: that’s the love you promised me. Love is a difficult emotion to handle and I certainly didn’t handle mine well. I pushed you away in the bid to save myself, I hurt myself just because I fear heartbreak.

Lukman, I’m sorry for being stupid.
If it’s okay to start again, I would like to start afresh!.
Since we didn’t get it right the first time, we can do it again. We have a whole lifetime ahead of us to practice with.
I have realised that it’s okay for you to want everything I have to offer.
It’s alright to want to catch up on what we’ve missed in the past.
It’s okay for me to take a chance and give my all
It’s okay to open my heart to new possibilities
It’s okay to fall,
And say I love you.
I’ll throw all my cards on the table this time, not because I know how it will end...
Its just that I am having so much fun, and really there’s no place I would rather be.

Love,
Iheoma.

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