The thing about relationships is that no one can be sure of anything. Everyone just goes into it with a lot of hope and optimism hoping to get the best results out, but what happens at the end of the day isn't up to anybody. My mother always say- “a kii gbon to eni ti oun tan ni”; meaning “ you can never be as wise as someone who goes out of his way to deceive you”. When a guy is determined to lie to you, use you and dump the remains at the curb, then he certainly will because you will believe him. Oh, you will have that feeling that something’s off, or that he’s too good to be true, or that he isn't right for you. But you will still go ahead and fall stupidly for him. That’s just a problem we ladies have: we never listen to our guts or common sense when it comes to a seemingly “perfect gentleman”. Even I have fallen victim of such circumstance.
Every girl loves to assume that she is the one; the main chick. We just love to dissuade ourselves and like to pretend we know for sure. Every other girl our man hooks up with is the side chick; the other woman. Rather than just wake up and find a way out of the relationship that most likely won’t lead anywhere, we just pray and keep hoping that he forsakes every other girl for us. Sometimes though, we are right and those sort of miracles happen. Let’s be frank with each other though, it only seems to happen once in fifty relationships. Most men I know will leave both the main and side chicks, and marry someone entirely different at the end of it all.
A friend told me that when a relationship has been going on strong for about 3 months and you do not know his home, you have every right to find out why. I say; I only need to know from the beginning of the relationship what my status with him is- it’s my right. If you are comfortable with being the other lady, then feel free. Otherwise, just move on.
We all know that men have conflicting signs when in relationships and an insecure man sometimes look like a cheating man. They can both exhibit the same signals so one can never be too sure which it is. You should also know signs to watch out for when you are definitely the other woman. When your man ends your calls abruptly just because another call came in, that’s something to be curious about. A wonderful man will always take a minute to ask you to excuse him before taking the call and you’ll get an explanation from him. A cheating man never respects his side chick, but accords his main girl with a high level of fear and respect. If a man is not afraid of losing you and doesn't see the need to hide his indiscretions from you, then you just may not be so important to him.
When you’re the main girl, you don’t need to guess or worry, he’ll do everything he can to make you know how special you are.
And if you happen to find out you were the side chick all along, then please do the women race a favour and just move on. I'm the type that believes there is a special someone for every woman, and if you haven't gotten your happy ending, then it means your someone is yet to arrive. A cheating man is never worth it no matter which angle you look from!