Tuesday, 27 October 2015
I'm so sorry I haven't posted any topic for awhile, its been a crazy month. Between work, making sure I remain healthy, starting and sustaining my businesses, making money one way or another, trying to look beautiful in a different way, staying calm amidst family drama, trying hard to ignore all talks of marriage by the family, and chasing off guys! Whew*, what a month it has been!.
Regardless of how long it's been though, you all know that when I have something in mind, I just have to express it. I remember I was in the kitchen making dinner the night I heard about the 'educated female doctor' who died and whose husband was suspected to have been involved in her death. I stared blankly at the television set wondering if I had heard the news right; I mean, this is a matured, educated DOCTOR married to another educated DOCTOR and this sorta thing happens? Even if it is just an hypothesis that he was involved in her death, I know there is never a flame without fire. If he hadn't been abusing his wife physically, mentally or emotionally, then nobody would think that he must have killed his wife.
I must be a sorry excuse for an activist, but I still believe that the little things go a long way. Please, let's educate ourselves- especially the younger generation. It is NEVER cool to hit a woman, no matter the circumstances; and it definitely IS NOT your duty to remain in an abusive relationship. Nobody says you have to remain with a man if he abuses you in any way, in fact I would never advice it. Do we have to introduce "behavioural studies" in school to learn how to treat our women? And do the women need more sense before learning when to walk out of a relationship? We really need to teach our daughters about self worth and love. If you appreciate yourself and are proud to be a woman, then you do not need a man to survive in this world. You should never ever tolerate an abusive man in your life. Understand that abusive men are the wife murderers we hear of today. You cannot change a man, and if he has ever abused you in one way or the other, it will never stop. An abuser, when provoked can shorten your life in a minute.
Now, how does an educated man get to the point of murdering his educated wife and why did the educated woman (with a good job) not leave earlier before it lead to her demise?
An abusive man can only pretend for so long. If he's abusive, you'll see it early in the relationship- most likely by the 6th month. If he's a really good actor, you'll catch a glimpse of at least the verbal abuse by the 8th month. If you are not trying to deceive yourself, then you cannot miss it. An abusive man is an abusive man, plain and simple. Don't make things complicated by trying to convince yourself that verbal abuse is vastly different from physical abuse. It's not very different, and verbal abuse usually ends up becoming physical. If a man lacks the sense to encourage his woman to be great, or try to make her successfully independent to depend on no one, then I do not see the point of being with that man. A man that diminishes his woman's self worth and crushes her confidence in herself is abusive, and does not deserve any woman in his life. If as a woman, you are confident and know your worth, you would never give room for an abusive relationship. It's not just about being educated any more, as even our literate girls are falling victim of abusive relationships, it's now about principle, self worth, self love, and confidence. Our society has embraced abuse for far too long and it's taking more lives daily. Let us educate ourselves in what little way we can. Is it really worth it sticking with a man when he has psychological issues and believes in physically hitting a woman he weighs double her size? I don't think it is, but I am only one person.
Let's teach our daughters that they can become whatever they want in life without depending on a man to achieve it. And lets teach our boys that women are meant to fly, and if they are lucky enough to find a successful woman with self love, they should make themselves worthy of her attention.