WOMEN: THOU SHALL NOT......

I had initially drafted a post about cheating couples in  relationship, until I watched a movie I was very much passionate about. Please bear with me if it looks like I’m repeating the same topic over again. Sometimes, it is necessary to keep stressing the importance of some topics to enlighten those that do not know the true status of women in our society.

The way girls, and eventually women are being treated in Africa is ridiculous. The way we are treated in Nigeria is even worse! Regardless of the part of the world they’re settled in, Nigerians always have teachings/morals to in-still into their kids.

A typical Nigerian parent teaches her beautiful daughter to be ashamed of her beauty. We’re taught to dream, but are rarely encouraged to pursue our dreams. We can be intelligent and ace in all aspect of life but we are told not to think in our husband’s home. We are told to let the man lead and we follow in his steps though he may be more clueless than we are. We are taught to be grateful to men that they took notice of us in the first place, and possibly worship the ground they walk on if/when they do marry us. We learn early that we will be expected to satisfy our husbands (and in many cases, his family) in every way, holding our own needs back. We are told not to be more successful than our men, and when we end up achieving more than they, are asked to hide our achievements; they’ll say his ego won’t take it, or that he will not like the thought.

A typical Nigerian lady is brought up feeling incomplete without a man. She doesn’t feel like she has achieved anything in life if she hasn’t signed the “marriage register”. She is almost usually shunned by the society if she simply expresses a desire not to get married; and they assume she isn’t fit to be a mentor to younger girls. She is then told that if she doesn’t invite them back for a naming ceremony 18 months after her wedding, there is a problem. She is taught to worry herself dead and to simply assume she is the one with a problem. She is taught to do whatever is necessary to provide her husband with a child, even if it goes against everything she believes in.

This morning, I didn’t feel like going to work in a strict corporate attire so I dressed myself in a v-necked tee and a black mini skirt. My mother saw me before leaving the house dressed like this and she insinuated that I was roaming around naked. Usually, I’m not a mini skirt sort of girl but I like to change costume some times. I started wondering if my love for trousers was an unconscious decision all along for the fear of being judged if I wore something else, or if it was an honest love for trousers. I always consider myself one of the few Nigerian ladies that actually see what is wrong in our society, but maybe the damage already has been done. I see it, but can I change my thinking about my dressing? I’ve been taught that anything that exposes your thighs/knees downward, shoulders, and part of your cleavage is irresponsible clothing. Looking at the lady I have grown into, I still don’t feel comfortable in attires of such nature.

Con amor