Saturday, 9 May 2015
Best of Both worlds..
I really don't get it. Is it that we have lost all sense of value? of right and wrong as humans? Or is the syndrome particular to the male specie?!
Why would a man in his right senses go and profess love for another woman asides his wife? I truly am confused, and you'll understand why soon enough.
My best friend, shall I say, is a victim of the circumstance called "men". Her ex boyfriend is back professing undying love for her , even though he's married to another. Immediately after his wedding (and I mean the day after), he was already on her case. How he missed her, how he needed her, wanting to make babies with her, and a bunch of silly notions. Now, my friend is currently single so she easily got overwhelmed enough to fall in the trap.... Until she began yearning for much more than he could give. The truth is that no matter how much he claims to love her, he still has to go home to his wife daily, warm her bed, eat her meals, and create a family with her.
In a bid to help my friend, I decided to confront the guy and probably convince him to let go. Things didn't exactly go my way and I ended up more confused than I was at the beginning. The general idea of my conversation with him is as follows;
He loves his wife (shocker!), loves her so much that he would do anything to make her happy. But he also loves my friend. He chose his wife above all others (and there was a substantial number, trust me!) because she's his best friend, understands him like no other, and actually let's him be free to be him! This is the same guy that tells my friend she knows him like no other. Anyway, it so happens that his wife knows about his indiscretions but either doesn't care, or simply chooses to ignore it. (I guess it's a criteria for being wife to your best friend, you know them too well, and let them continue with the bad habits anyway. Knowing you're a Mrs Somebody and married to the man of your dreams should be enough consolation!). He told me truthfully though that the thought of seeing Bisi with another man kills him. Tayo, 'he said' nobody else can love Bisi like I do, only I can make her truly happy. He's currently in the process of getting my friend an apartment and pressuring her for a child. His wife just delivered their first child, and he's still hellbent on having my friend. Before you say its possible because we're in Africa, ask yourself if that was God's idea of marriage when he created man and woman. Might I include that everyone involved are Christians?...
Love or not, I think this is WRONG! I wonder how I would feel knowing that my husband desires another woman asides me or even desire her as he does me, and wants some sort of a life with her. He defines the adage that says"wanting to eat one's cake and have it". My friend was there and he consciously chose another woman as his wife. I don't like to judge, but I think it's safe to assume he didn't choose Bisi then because he thought she was only good enough to be his mistress and not his legal wife.
What then has changed? Nothing! He's still married to his best friend/ love of his life. He's still making a family with his wife.
The next time my friend asked my opinion, I simply told her love is not always enough.
Still your LadyAries!