Monday, 5 January 2015


Never too late to love?!

There are some that get it right from the beginning; their very first trial ends up being "the one", the "true love", the "Mr. right". They just have it so easy, thereby making the ones like I immensely jealous.
We like to believe that love is once in a lifetime, and there are myths about one being only able to love truly once. These beliefs only serve to make the illusion of love more appealing but let's assume they are true.

... I wasn't as lucky as most of my friends when it came to loving right from my first boo, down to the one I married. Where my friends had it easy from their firsts, I had to go from guy to guy searching for my own while maintaining my values. I met my husband at the age of 26, after I gave up on men altogether. We met through a mutual friend, and the attraction was instant.We became fast friends, and everything else that followed was next to perfect. We had the same principles, we practised the same religion, are from the same tribe, shared each others dreams, and shared a common goal. 13 months after our initial meeting, we got married. It was a beautiful ceremony and no expense was spared. Akin and I were married for three (3) years before we started having troubles. I tried to be very patient with him (mostly for our daughter's sake), and acted as the peace-keeper in the marriage but all was to no avail. Akin simply changed, and it seemed like I wasn't good enough for him any more. When he wasn't complaining about my cooking, then it was my housekeeping. He abused me emotionally, and physically. I tried to remain in love with him, and spent hours praying for him but he just acted like I didn't even exist.

The first time I noticed my neighbour as a man, was the day my life changed. We had run into each other over a million times, he had come to enquire about something numerous times, and I never even SAW him for real. Suddenly, I see him as a delicious chocolate hunk, and my senses run in overdrive. He was oh-so nice, went out of his way to see me smile, and talked to me for hours. He bought my favourites, played with my daughter, and made me feel beautiful again. I was on cloud nine, and didn't even mind that Akin had stopped coming home. My neighbour became my best friend and confidant. It wasn't until a friend of mine came over for an afternoon gossip that I spared Akin any thought. She had just found out that my husband got married to another lady over the weekend, and they currently live in a beautiful "mansion". I felt something, but I can't define what it is - fear? anger? relief? confusion? insulted? jealous?
Should I even care? We are Muslims, and so he has every right to marry more wives. I am his legal wife though, should I fight this? Or should I just leave him be and move on? Should I remain in this marriage, to keep on with the abuse and neglect? I he my true once in a lifetime love? Should I be more patient? Will he ever return to me?
On the other hand, I have my cute neighbour who has expressed his interest in me with the promise of a lifetime, treats me like a queen, makes me feel beautiful, and actually tries to make me happy. Should I just leave my marriage behind, and be with this good man? Is this new man the true love I had always desired?

...And my daughter???

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