I just watched a movie that seemed like it was my life story. And the only thing I could get from it is a stupid advice about being hopeful. It's a movie, so at the end the two lovers ended up together even though the guy's marriage kept them apart.
So, you're wondering how this fit with my life?. I'm guilty of the same thing the girl in the movie was. I am hopelessly in love with a married man. And of course, you're right. It is actually as depressing as it sounds. I can't see him without feeling like my heart is gonna get ripped from my chest. See, I'm a Nigerian, and having that kinda love is actually a myth so it sounds unbelievable even to my ears.
The first time I met him, it was like love at first sight. No, not the way it is in movies because we didn't get together until months later, but I couldn't stop thinking about him all the while. We bacame very good friends quickly and recognised the attraction between us. It was very mutual, and he was single then. Fast forward a year later, and we were miles apart. I had to travel and we both didn't deal well with the distance. Sometimes, loving each other doesn't mean you both know how to be together especially when there's a lot of distance separating you. By the time I returned 2 years later, he had moved on and was getting married. I thought I could live with it, so I quickly accepted it. The only problem however, is that every time I saw him, spoke with him, or just ran into him, it was like I lived an heartbreak all over again.
It's been less than six months since he got married, and I still pine for him. We speak once awhile, but I absolutely avoid meeting with him. I'm caught between wishing him happiness with his wife, and hoping he's miserable. *smiles* I can't really wish him misery, cos I love him too much to bear the thought of him being unhappy.
Unlike the movie however, I can no longer be with him and this love story will not be having a fairy tale end. I know how I got myself into this mess, but getting myself out of it is a mystery to me. I can't keep pining for a married man, but at least I can pretend it doesn't hurt each time I hear his voice or remember the most amazing year we spent together.