Monday, 13 January 2014

#PLAN B!!!

It's a new year for me, a start-over, a year of endless opportunities... I know you're thinking the statement sounds dumb, but please don't be quick to judge. I know it's a new year for us all and it's an opportunity for each of us to start over, rewrite, or grasp the many chances life is throwing our ways. I can only speak for myself at this moment, and I'm saying "things must be different this year"!!!
Before I go on, I will like to wish you all a happy new year and prosperous 2014. I had the liberty of going to spend Christmas and new year in the UK with my family but after the well wishes and "celebrations", I had more than enough time to reflect on my life and what I want it to be. My very adorable sister (that's always there when I need her) made it particularly fun but eventually I was able to redefine myself. I was able to decide who I didn't want to be, and didn't want to be recognized as. I made it a point to go further and choose the people I'm leaving in 2013, never to be anything more than in the 'past'.
This year,  I have made no resolutions. I have no expectations, and I definitely do not have impossible dreams to be realized. This year started with me being clear-headed and realistic. In the past 3 years (2011, 2012, and 2013), I have noted that I made the same resolutions over and over as the years began and it is quite unfortunate that I didn't get any of them realized. It is not due to my lack of trying (because I DID TRY!), but due to "circumstances and other factors I couldn't possibly recognize as obstacles anymore". I let myself be easily dissuaded by mere feelings- anger, fear, frustration, insecurity, et al. I took my eyes off the prize and saw illusions of impossibility, obstacles!
Five years ago (in my final year at the university), I had dreams and hopes. I thought I knew what I wanted and needed. I assumed and set a goal for myself back then. 5 years.... It will be 5years that I have graduated by December this year, and that in itself is a major wake up call for me.
If I haven't realized any of my resolutions for the past three years and haven't achieved my five year goal till now, then I am definitely doing something wrong. It's time to reshuffle the cards, play the same game but with different rules/different tricks, and win big this time. This year, I'll not worry myself, nor will I stop for any reason. I had a dream, and I think I have let it lie for too long... Five years too long. I'm setting the pace now, and I'm going after what I want for me. Nobody else matters but me... And nobody will get in the way of that!

Yesterday's gone, and it's best to leave it be.... This is going to be a constant reminder to myself daily so I stop dwelling I the past. No matter how sweet and rosy the past seem to be in my head today, there was always a bitter side to it. The fact that today isn't full of sunshine doesn't mean there won't be a rainbow in the morning.


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