Monday, 1 July 2013

My Perennial Bachelor (Part B)

After a year and half of being together, Gbenga was yet to propose to me. Although he had talked about marriage with me on many occasions, I expected him to have made it more official by now. I haven't even met any of his family members, I was a few months away from my 30th birthday, and I was beyond frantic. When I shared my concern with him, he simply told me not to worry and promised that we would take a trip over a weekend he was free to meet them. I wasn't totally cool with his response but decided to remain calm. A man of 44 years should get married soon. He couldn't be playing games, could he?
On my 30th birthday, Gbenga spoilt me rotten! He pampered me, and made me feel like a queen. To say he spoilt me is an understatement such that my fear of being a spinster was forgotten. He made me feel on top of the world, and I was the envy of all. The spell was on for a couple more months until realisation dawned once again that we hadn't done anything official. At this point, my feminine hormones were screaming "CAUTION!" So, I decided to take drastic measures to nudge him in the right direction. The first step I took, was put an end to all sexual/physical relationship between us. Gbenga was mad when I did this, and it gave me hope... "My plan was gonna work afterall". I then insisted on knowing his family, and he said we weren't ready. Weren't ready? I was ready when we started dating 2years ago!! No matter how much I tried to make him see reason, Gbenga wouldn't budge so I stopped talking to him (with the hope that he would miss me and be forced to bend to my will). To my shock and disappointment however, Gbenga didn't seem bothered. Infact, he neither called nor texted. I was really hurt by this, because I had thought he loved me. I was determined though- not to beg him as I knew what I wanted. My parents had started pestering me to bring him home, but Gbenga had always been busy with something any time we agreed to go see them.
About 3weeks later, I went to a fashion show (like we used to do together) and I saw him. He was looking as charming and smart as ever and I was half way to hug him when I noticed he wasn't alone. The girl hanging possessively by his side (like I used to) with an angelic smile couldn't be more than 23 or 24 years. I had no idea how I got home safe that day, but I remember the tears I cried all night. 2years! 2 precious years of my life with a man that moved on in 3weeks. Where do i start from? What would I tell the world? How do I explain this to my family? The shame... What would people say? Its amidst these jumbled thoughts, confusion and heartache that I decided to quit my job and change location. There was simply too much memories here and I just needed a clean break. I moved to another city, to try and pick up whatever I could of the pieces he left behind.

I left family and friends to run as far as I could from Gbenga, his memories and the hurts, but he still resides in my heart. I have tried to hate him but I can't; I can't even bring myself to think ill of him. I love him too much, and I miss him so so much...

Con amor

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