Sunday, 20 October 2013

Merger Match #2

Our traditional wedding (or is it called engagement?) was celebrated in grand style in the United Kingdom 2months before the white wedding is to take place... The event was graced by high society personnels, as well as the media. It was aired on national TV, and I'm sure a lot of women would have wanted (some might be willing to kill) to be in my shoes. I smiled so much, my cheeks ached at the end of the day. We were asked to stay behind in the UK for dress/suit fittings, and final preparations would be done on our behalf back home. 

...It is true that the person who risks nothing, does nothing- has nothing.

Last year when it seemed like he had exhausted all other options, Fola had attempted to go against his parents and marry the woman of his choice. His sister and I have always been close (almost like sisters) and she told me all he went through when he attempted it. His father sent his aides after him when he left the house, personally visited the girlfriend's family and all but threatened them, and threatened to curse his own son if he insisted on getting his way. Fola may be stubborn like his father, but he wasn't stupid. He knew when to step back and take another route but his father was quicker. He immediately met with my father and fixed a wedding date.
Shortly after our traditional wedding, we were left to be on our own and under the same roof. Only then did we start to talk about our future as a couple, as if it had just begun to dawn on us that "this is it". We talked about how we would make the most of our marriage. He had noticed how calm and laid back I was about the wedding and he feared that I may have a plan that could not only jeopardize the wedding, but also tarnish both families' image in society. He talked like a true man and pleaded with me to work with him, seeing as we were both in the same boat. He said he would like very much to trust me, and be a real husband to me but I had to give him a chance. What choice did I really have? I think I had accepted my fate long before he did, even though a part of me still tries to find a possible way out, but what's the use of pointing that out? I agreed with him, and we went for ring sizing the next day.

All we know about the future, is that it will be different. Perhaps what we fear, is that it will be the same or worse?... or do we fear it will be better than we hope?. 

I'm getting married in the presence of God and man in 2days and I have no idea what my wedding cake looks like. Tonight, when we had dinner, it dawned on me that I had no idea what my husband's favourite food is. We never even talked about our honeymoon, although I suspect our families will have that covered.
We got back from the United Kindom late this evening, and my father in-law sent a car to pick us up. This night is the last Fola will spend with his parents, while I still have one more night to spend with mine. Our parents had gotten us a house in our absence, fully furnished, and ready to live in with cars. We haven't been there yet, but the news was dropped on us at dinner. It was also decided that since we would not spend our wedding night in his family home, we should spend the night together before I go home in the morning. While everyone else assumed we were 'consummating' our "wedding" in his room, we were busy packing his things in preparation for him to move into our home tomorrow. We weren't done before he slept off, but I made sure to finish off before I joined him in bed. Sleep eludes me this night, and thinking about how it started till this minute has done nothing to help me. I realise that I cannot get out of this arrangement, nor will I disgrace my family. Fola may have been a pompous spoilt brat as a boy, but he has proved to have grown into a fine man. The few days we spent in UK after that 'talk' was quite beautiful. If we had been in love, it would have been amazing but I guess it's a start. He seemed to be more attentive, patient, and caring. It all seemed so confusing and complicated now. Unlike how it seemed easy months ago in my head. How do I leave this new man I have known, at the altar? How do I do the exact things he had predicted just weeks ago? Tarnish our families' image? I may not love or want him, but his family is like a second family and mine means the world to me...
I can say I've had a change of heart, but how do I explain myself to Ayo whom I have promised to elope with? How do I explain that I'm starting to develop strong feeling for a man I barely know?- possessive feelings! Do I tell Fola about my proposed plan? I have no idea if he still pines for his ex, but I know it's none of my business. What if our families hold on to their threats? Will we ever be happy? I know I have a better chance of peace doing what my parents want but will I be happy doing it? I may be the most unhappy wife on earth, if my husband chooses but I could also end up being the happiest bride in town. What if I elope with Ayo and he betrays me? How would I ever face my family again. Most importantly, how do I disobey a man I have NEVER disobeyed in 26years- my father.....
I don't know much about my husband and it feels like plunging into a dark path not knowing what to expect. Whether it is going to be worth it or not is something I cannot predict but I know that if he can accept fate and hold on to his word, then nothing stops me from doing the same. Nothing stops me from working with him to make this work.
I snuggled closer to my husband and his arms held me closer to him. 'That's a good sign', I thought and I smiled to myself. The last thing I thought about before drifting off is that I'm having my court wedding in approximately 6hours. I hope I those pearls I got last week will suit my outfit....

... We must celebrate changes because as someone once said, "everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, then trust me it is not yet the end!"

Con amor

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