Thursday, 17 May 2012

Otra parte de mí

While growing up into the lady I am today, I've had many passion and most I never pursued. That is, until I started this blog to pursue my love for writing. Awhile ago, I made the decision to learn the sexiest language on earth. Yes! You heard right... I love Spanish and every cute man that can speak it. I've always found the language amazing, and always wished I could @least understand it. But as usual, the fire burned out. This has been the routine for about 5years now! Decide to start something for real, and it just goes off after sometime. I've still got other passions buried within that I'm basically reserved about, but I'm sure with time they'll begin to unfold.

Moving on to the main topic of the day (Another side of me), I think i have never been real good at completely expressing myself verbally (until recently). In fact I'm certain I don't get my message across well enough when spoken, but I make up for that in my write ups. What I lack the courage to say, I write (and that's a lot!). This is the reason I always compose poems or letters in my relationships to better express my emotions; be it anger, frustration, or love. I have learnt to be somewhat outspoken, but most of the talk usually lack a particular content. What I haven't been able to really talk about though, is my past. I've tried writing about it, to no avail.

Recently, I started getting some closure on my past and it's been good for me. I realised some things I was too scared to admit, and accepted other things I could do nothing about. I made confessions, and buried old hurts. I unleashed that "other side of me" I had been searching for. Little did I know it was right here all along, within me, waiting to be let out. A friend of mine told me all I needed to do was feel good about myself and actually believe, (not just say) that I deserve nothing short of the best in life! And I guess she was right. No, she IS right! Nothing is too good to be true for me.
I forgave myself for all I blamed ME of, I looked in the mirror and actually smiled, I felt that ℓ♥vΣ once again.
The ℓ♥vΣ I once felt for myself. I heard the echoes of distant laughter, my laughter. Felt old joys that long died, remembered past friendships, memories flashed through heavy lids.
On wiping away my tears and looking in the mirror, I saw me in a new light. I saw a peaceful me,
The ME I thought I would never see again.

Con amor..

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