He stared at me, with those eyes... Eyes that could melt any heart.
Eyes that melted my heart on that faithful day we met. It was 4years ago, when I first had the privilege to look into his eyes. I felt those butterflies awaken in my tummy immediately. It was my 1st time of experiencing all those emotions @ 1st sight. You know, the complete package; admiration, crush, lust, affection,...you name it. If you've ever had that kind of experience, you'll agree with me that it's the best feeling ever. But on the other hand, you'll also agree with me that those perfect feelings never have beautiful endings.
Anyway, unlike the fairy tale-like love stories that don't have happy endings, mine never even started. Of course there were obstacles. There's always some sort of obstacle in this kinda scenario. So, that's the very good explanation behind the series of obstacles in my never-to-happen-love-story. Apart from the obstacles, everything just happened wrong. First thing that went wrong?, I didn't meet him sooner. Second thing?, I have no idea. Third thing?, I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that he was perfect, but it couldn't happen.
For months, I dreamt about his eyes, the way they teased, searched and the way he looked at me like he knew something interesting that I didn't. I fantasised about his lips, his touch (Were they perfect?, Of course they were... It was in my head). I replayed the different other ways we could (SHOULD) have met, but that didn't make him mine. I regardless went ahead to fantasize about how he was crazy about me too, and how he found a way for us to be together. I dreamt about a big wedding with him, and how happy we would be. Our kids were so adorable... *sigh*
Four years later, we met again and I was given the "good" news that he was getting married. I felt crushed, heartbroken and confused. What about us? Our love! My plans for OUR wedding? Was it never to be? What was to happen to me, and all the love I had invested in him? These words occupied my head over and over. Was he not supposed to feel my love for him? I was broken.
Then he showed me pictures of his bride-to-be, and I lost my confidence. That's the reason he never noticed my love!. She was fair, pretty, and almost looked like an angel. I tried to dislike her, to blame her for my crushed fantasies but I couldn't. No one could be blamed but I. I kept quiet for so long and buried my love inside without going in pursuit of that which I wanted. I waited, hoping he would love me too while another woman got his affection. And now, he was gone... Forever.. No second chances!
I know there are lots of women out there who like me, sit idly loving a man in silence, expecting him to feel the same, and to take matters into his own hands. I say this; why can't you get your ass up and go after what YOU desire. If you're not fighting for him, another girl is. To hell with the obstacles, obstacles are just those things you see when you take eyes off your goal. Focus on that man, make your move, don't back down, and what you get is a ring on that finger...
As for me, I won't stop pining for him and although he belongs to another woman now, he'll always have a special place in my heart. I just hope I've learned, cause I can be sometimes stupid.