The thing about
relationships is that no one can be sure of anything. Everyone just goes into
it with a lot of hope and optimism hoping to get the best results out, but what
happens at the end of the day isn't up to anybody. My mother always say- “a kii
gbon to eni ti oun tan ni”; meaning “ you can never be as wise as someone who
goes out of his way to deceive you”. When a guy is determined to lie to you,
use you and dump the remains at the curb, then he certainly will because
you will believe him. Oh, you will have that feeling that something’s off, or
that he’s too good to be true, or that
he isn't right for you. But you will still go ahead and fall stupidly
for him. That’s just a problem we ladies have: we never listen to our guts or
common sense when it comes to a seemingly “perfect gentleman”. Even I have
fallen victim of such circumstance.
Every girl loves to
assume that she is the one; the main chick. We just love to dissuade ourselves
and like to pretend we know for sure. Every other girl our man hooks up with is
the side chick; the other woman. Rather than just wake up and find a way out of
the relationship that most likely won’t lead anywhere, we just pray and keep
hoping that he forsakes every other girl for us. Sometimes though, we are right
and those sort of miracles happen. Let’s be frank with each other though, it
only seems to happen once in fifty relationships. Most men I know will leave
both the main and side chicks, and marry someone entirely different at the end
of it all.
A friend told me that
when a relationship has been going on strong for about 3 months and you do not
know his home, you have every right to find out why. I say; I only need to know
from the beginning of the relationship what my status with him is- it’s my right.
If you are comfortable with being the other lady, then feel free. Otherwise,
just move on.
We all know that men
have conflicting signs when in relationships and an insecure man sometimes look
like a cheating man. They can both exhibit the same signals so one can never
be too sure which it is. You should also know signs to watch out for when you
are definitely the other woman. When your man ends your calls abruptly just
because another call came in, that’s something to be curious about. A wonderful
man will always take a minute to ask you to excuse him before taking the call
and you’ll get an explanation from him. A cheating man never respects his side
chick, but accords his main girl with a high level of fear and respect. If a
man is not afraid of losing you and doesn't see the need to hide his indiscretions
from you, then you just may not be so important to him.
When you’re the main
girl, you don’t need to guess or worry, he’ll do everything he can to make you
know how special you are.
And if you happen to find out you were the side chick all along, then please do the women race a favour and just move on. I'm the type that believes there is a special someone for every woman, and if you haven't gotten your happy ending, then it means your someone is yet to arrive. A cheating man is never worth it no matter which angle you look from!
Keep trying...
Con amor.
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