Truly Love You

Love sometimes play games with our intelligence; especially our first love.

We spend so much time and effort for those people we quickly notice their beauty.

We really want to love them, but end up not actually happening.

Yet, the less obvious ones are right beneath our noses, silent and true.

You listen to them and keep all they say in your heart.

You treat them badly in an attempt to get a little closer.

You wish they would just like you back even if it's a little.

You happily keep all the promises made to them, and fulfil them no matter how long it takes.

You take a beating for them if you have to, and defend them when you can.

What better sacrifice is there than to give your one true love away to someone else who deserves them more? To someone who can take very good care of them like they deserve?

And all you can do is hope they are happy with that one.

You always light a candle in your heart for them, even when you know they like and are with someone else.

You always think of what to do to make them smile.

You pray they know how you feel, but you never have the courage to tell.

You wonder how their future will be like, and if you can be in it.

If you don't see them for a long time, they never lose their place in your heart!

... That's what a true love means.

Con Amor

Main girl or Syd chick?..

The thing about relationships is that no one can be sure of anything. Everyone just goes into it with a lot of hope and optimism hoping to get the best results out, but what happens at the end of the day isn't up to anybody. My mother always say- “a kii gbon to eni ti oun tan ni”; meaning “ you can never be as wise as someone who goes out of his way to deceive you”. When a guy is determined to lie to you, use you and dump the remains at the curb, then he certainly will because you will believe him. Oh, you will have that feeling that something’s off, or that he’s too good to be true, or that  he isn't right for you. But you will still go ahead and fall stupidly for him. That’s just a problem we ladies have: we never listen to our guts or common sense when it comes to a seemingly “perfect gentleman”. Even I have fallen victim of such circumstance.

Every girl loves to assume that she is the one; the main chick. We just love to dissuade ourselves and like to pretend we know for sure. Every other girl our man hooks up with is the side chick; the other woman. Rather than just wake up and find a way out of the relationship that most likely won’t lead anywhere, we just pray and keep hoping that he forsakes every other girl for us. Sometimes though, we are right and those sort of miracles happen. Let’s be frank with each other though, it only seems to happen once in fifty relationships. Most men I know will leave both the main and side chicks, and marry someone entirely different at the end of it all.

A friend told me that when a relationship has been going on strong for about 3 months and you do not know his home, you have every right to find out why. I say; I only need to know from the beginning of the relationship what my status with him is- it’s my right. If you are comfortable with being the other lady, then feel free. Otherwise, just move on.

We all know that men have conflicting signs when in relationships and an insecure man sometimes look like a cheating man. They can both exhibit the same signals so one can never be too sure which it is. You should also know signs to watch out for when you are definitely the other woman. When your man ends your calls abruptly just because another call came in, that’s something to be curious about. A wonderful man will always take a minute to ask you to excuse him before taking the call and you’ll get an explanation from him. A cheating man never respects his side chick, but accords his main girl with a high level of fear and respect. If a man is not afraid of losing you and doesn't see the need to hide his indiscretions from you, then you just may not be so important to him.

When you’re the main girl, you don’t need to guess or worry, he’ll do everything he can to make you know how special you are.

And if you happen to find out you were the side chick all along, then please do the women race a favour and just move on. I'm the type that believes there is a special someone for every woman, and if you haven't gotten your happy ending, then it means your someone is yet to arrive. A cheating man is never worth it no matter which angle you look from!

Keep trying...

Con amor.

Proclamation of Love to my Heart!

Dear Lukman,

A man once told me, “Iheoma if you’re going to love, then do it right. Find a love that never dies, that never looses its electricity. The kind of love that’s worth fighting for”.

These past years, I have not gotten much inspiration to love, but I kept those words at the back of my mind. I always told myself that everything in life was overrated, especially love. Eventually I stopped thinking about it, and I didn’t care much for emotion. I assumed my life was going on point, nothing was missing. I just wanted to be someone important and make my father proud.

And then along came a beautiful young stranger. His gaze was all it took to draw me in. When I first met him, something told me he was different and I just knew deep in my heart that we were meant to cross paths. I suddenly began to yearn for more. He started to grow on me. He made me laugh and took me on a beautiful ride. Just when things got serious and true, I put up a wall. I told myself I was doing it for my own good, that I was merely protecting my own heart. Yes I admit it, his love had begun to fill me up. I put up strong defences just to douse the flame. I was confused, here’s a guy that loves me to the moon and back. He makes my tummy bubble with excitement when calling and makes butterflies dance in me when I hear him laugh. Yet, I found an excuse to stay away.

Love so strong, so big it never fades: that’s the love you promised me. Love is a difficult emotion to handle and I certainly didn’t handle mine well. I pushed you away in the bid to save myself, I hurt myself just because I fear heartbreak.

Lukman, I’m sorry for being stupid.
If it’s okay to start again, I would like to start afresh!.
Since we didn’t get it right the first time, we can do it again. We have a whole lifetime ahead of us to practice with.
I have realised that it’s okay for you to want everything I have to offer.
It’s alright to want to catch up on what we’ve missed in the past.
It’s okay for me to take a chance and give my all
It’s okay to open my heart to new possibilities
It’s okay to fall,
And say I love you.
I’ll throw all my cards on the table this time, not because I know how it will end...
Its just that I am having so much fun, and really there’s no place I would rather be.

Love,
Iheoma.