Our Union

Restless is the way I feel as I walk round the big house, thinking. Worry has caused a big crease on my forehead, making me look much older than I am....

How do I explain to my in-laws , my family that my husband is dead? How do I tell them he died in the arms of his lover and that the said lover had just summoned me to court.

My name is Amara obviously from the eastern part of Nigeria, and I married a man from a different tribe- Olu. We met when I went to get my MSc degree in South Africa. Olu had been living there for awhile training to be a pilot. The night we met was one like most nights, at the club a stone throw from campus. He was charming, funny and he wooed me almost instantly. We had already dated for 2 years before the difference in our tribes started to trouble us. We wanted to be together so badly, and started to plan our wedding. We visited both his parents and mine in Nigeria, and introductions were done. My family accepted his totally, but I was unlucky with his family. His mother already had a Yoruba girl that she wanted Olu to marry, and saw me as the stumbling block.

Olu and I eventually got married after series of argument, and troubles. We settled in South Africa since we both got well paying jobs in the country. The fact that Olu's mother loathed the sight of me, made me eagerly accept to move permanently to South Africa.

Seven years down the line, I had become more of a career woman and mother than a wife. Olu started having an affair just 3 weeks after we said our vows and he didn't even hide it. He did not hide the different girls warming his bed. In the bid to have a peaceful home, my husband took my gentleness for granted. My two girls hardly know their father. A few months ago, Olu confessed his lover was carrying his child- his son, he had called it. To say I was furious is an understatement and to top it up, I had absolutely no one to talk to. My parents were no longer interested in the affairs of my life, and his family weren't my biggest fans. According to his cousin, Olu had already taken the South African born Yoruba girl home to his family and she was given a grander welcome than I was. They had even gone ahead and done a traditional marriage.  Olu and I started having heated arguments about her, until he opted to leave and move in with her.

Today, I got the news that my husband died a week ago (less than 2 months after he left me), and his lover is suing me for child support for a baby she hasn't even delivered yet. I am still Olu's legal wife both in Nigeria and South Africa and I have been his next of kin long before we got married. It's obviously time to go back to Nigeria with my girls but how do I face his family?