He did give me "sex" without protection alright maybe
in a cruel way but as a wife I had to get over it. And get over it I did when I
found out I was with baby just 2 months later. I did not even bother to share
the news with him as soon as I found out. I love and respect my husband very
much, but some of his recent actions have made me fear him too. I dare not look
into his eyes the few times I get to serve him his meal, and I don't sit close
enough where he can reach out and hurt me. I moved out of our bedroom into a
spare room so he could have enough breathing space (and of course, so I could
have my privacy). About 4 months into my pregnancy, I had started showing and I
took extra effort in hiding it by wearing body shapers. I chose to start
showing off little cleavage in the quest to draw attention away from my tummy,
and also in hope that my husband would notice me and we could rebuild our
passion (what can I say? I'm a fool and hopelessly optimistic!). As usual, it
didn't work to my advantage. My husband did notice alright, but never made any
move of reaching out to me. He would simply make passing comments about being a
prostitute and all the sorts. I never actually minded anything he said in hope
that we could still reconcile but deep down in my mind, I knew my marriage had
failed! I just couldn't accept it in my heart. Besides the yoruba girl in me
would not walk away from her marriage, and the romantic in me is
still deluded that deep down somewhere he still loves me.
Now I know what you're thinking... why don't I just tell him about
my pregnancy, maybe it will draw us back together! But is it really enough?
Does any woman gain any satisfaction knowing that she can do nothing to bring
her man home other than a baby? My case is even more special being that he
still raises his hand at me. He may not roll up his sleeves to beat me black
and blue like he did that night 4 months ago, but I still get the slaps and
shoves, and manhandling every other day. I'm only grateful that he hasn't come
to my bed yet as I don't even think I could allow it. A couple of days after my
pregnancy clocked 18 weeks; I went to work and had a terrible day. The day
started all wrong, and I had a suspicion it would end even worse and I was
right. I left work that day and ran to the bus stop but I missed my bus by just
a few seconds. I was tired, and I couldn't wait 15 more minutes to get another
bus so I called a cab. Five minutes later, I was on my way home and I relaxed
in the cab thinking maybe the day wouldn't end so badly after all....
"We’re here ma'am." the driver woke me as we stopped in
front of my house, and I paid him before leaving the vehicle. I had no idea I
had slept off, I must have been more tired than I let on, and I had to go make
dinner before I could get any rest, but as I turned away from the cab and saw
my husband waiting on the front porch, I knew certainly that this day had
just began going wrong!. I tried smiling at him and greeted him without getting
any response. He turned and when in, and I said a short prayer that he wouldn't
hit me this evening before following him. As soon as I got in, I knew my prayer
hadn't been answered because he instantly welcomed me with a hot slap. I tried
getting my balance as I had almost slipped to the floor as he started ranting
on about where I was, and I should tell him the name of the man who put me in a
cab home. He said he knew something was up with my new sense of dressing, and
he was determined to beat the truth out of me. I was scared, and my cheeks
stung like hell! He pulled me forward to him, and my shoe heel broke,
leaving me unstable again, and he demanded to know the truth before he killed me
with his bare hands. I pleaded with him and when he gave me the second slap
that made me go down, I didn't know when it slipped "I'M
PREGNANT!!!!" At first, it seemed like time had stopped and the earth had
stopped rotating, as the room was still. The silence was deafening and I could
swear I heard his heartbeat from the floor. After what seemed like an eternity,
I finally heard his voice "What?!" That alone scared me more than his
slap, and all I could do was sit where I was and try to get to him in the best
possible manner I could. "I'm 18 weeks pregnant darling, I'm having your
baby", but he did not even allow me to complete my sentence before saying
in plain english "You're getting an abortion!" I was shocked, and
amazed... abortion? When I was almost 5 months along? Is he crazy? Could he
hate me that much?... He saw the look on my face and continued "You will
get an abortion tomorrow Ireti or I swear by my mother's life I'll abort it
myself!", and just like that day over 18weeks ago, he walked out on me and
out of our home... Again leaving me in pains
Con amor
